My Lords & Ladies, I present the future SIR HUNK

Yes, Its True..... I was mowed down by hordes of Nicole kidman lookalike Paparazzi. Whom, while straddling their sleek black motorcycles forced me to tell the truth at camera point. I felt rather than my one and half fans, learning the sordid tale from the local press or God forbid their local church youth group. I would reveal all on my own personal blog. Just so you can tell all the gossips, you read it here first.

I have been to see a nutrionist. ( I know its going to be hard for you all, and yes it is hard for me to accept as well...... I too thought I was perfect) However, as we are all born unto original sin, which can be clensed for a small fee at your local church. We are also born unto the original f** cell. Please note that revealing either of these two universal curses in untimely fashion to sensitive youths and other such, may cause severe trauma and worse, guilt. A Small army of psychiatrists and psychologists will then need to be deployed to cleanup YOUR Mess......

Anyhow, back to me. On Friday the 11th of last week. Auspicious for also being my birthday! I entered the hallowed portals of Nutrionists - PHD, BLAH, BSC, AND OTHER SUCH CLVS. There I was greeted by the petite, slightly toity, but O so charming, (my name reveals that my parents were enlightened hippies) P*******. P******* had small delicate hands that lightly carressed diagrams, of intestinal organs. She revealed to me, how the polys and the monos had all got mixed up and confused about being good unsaturated f*ts, or bad saturated f*ts. Poor poor, little things, O how we wrung our hands over them.

However, together.
The two of us.
Shoulder to shoulder.
Armed with a brave food plan, we would show them the way.
Viva le' nutrition !
Hurrah !

I almost leapt over her desk in sheer delight, and would have kissed her open mouthed and very passionatly. However the moment was lost as I am very shy, and had a slight headache from the constant piercing glint of a rather ostentatous dimond engagement ring, that weighed down the fair flourishes of her petite hand.

Now I am so enthused, that I spent the morning practicing a step one over food. For those of you that are not part of this cult, the mantra (my version) goes like this. "I surrender to the fact that I am powerless over food. I feel the relief and gratitude of handing this problem over to my Higher Power. I have a food Plan (to be collected tomorrow) which I will follow to the best of my ability.

Phew, there was a moment back there, when I thought. "I may just put up a before picture" but I think perhaps Not :-)